side step
so avoiding music makes giving up alot of things considerably easier, leaves my past behind, lets me forget – because one thing leads to another and then i’m shaking in unrest.
I start by normalizing things which weren’t ok oh, about 3 weeks ago. stumbling again onto music,
oh, dance. my ability to move, let loose. the times behind. was it that bad? certainly was more fun.
but could I expect to be doing those things and still see self growth
or did i realize that within my ethnic culture alone – forget Islaam, there was a need to back down.
grind, shake, move, shake, smirk, shake, bring them in
sexual, liberal, sensual, it reminded me how to express for needs that could not be quenched
because as wild as I looked, or openly as I let my sexuality express itself in open spaces with bodies swerving
it never went further than that. conservative in a twisted way, tease. always the need to tease.
my only outlet…
my release
and in passing I listen to some music, reminded again of my needs.
my capacity and capabilities to throw myself into a woman, this other woman
sly, seductive, wild, releasing the crave within
if case I forgot in all these years, without the touch of a man
that I needed this
a natural thing
simmered it down
music cleared the fog that Islaam set down
how do I cope
need for intimacy
to dance for him, share in desire
no.
good little girl. you might wait your whole life for this exchange
